Wednesday, December 31, 2014

Al Capone Faces Litany of Allegations

Shocking revelations continue to surface about Al "Scarface" Capone in recent days. Numerous women have made some serious allegations about the murderous gangster that have called his reputation into question.

It all began in October when a short clip of comedian Shecky Horowitz went viral. Horowitz joked in a Chicago set, "People don't want to talk about it, but Al Capone is a great guy. If you don't believe me, go home and google "Al Capone nice guy." You'll get more hits than "Shecky Horowitz." I just want you to feel uncomfortable next time you watch the movie Scarface."

With Horowitz invigorating a subject that had largely been ignored through the years, wave after wave of allegations flooded into the public sphere. It began with a woman from Peoria, Illinois claiming, "Al Capone always used to buy my children teddy bears, even when it wasn't their birthday. He never wanted anything in return. He's a very sweet man."

Soon, more stories surfaced, many of them with the same incomprehensible tone. Sheila Burkowsky from Chicago, Illinois alleged, "Al Capone helped me and many women go to college. He set up a clandestine scholarship fund for hardworking young women. Now I'm an accountant. I only found out years later that the entire organization had ties to Al Capone. He really is a sweetheart."

Barbara Harris wrote an op-ed in The Washington Post this past November claiming that Capone used to send her mother flowers. "Honestly, he did not have any romantic feelings towards me and certainly not to my overweight 70 year old mother. He just sent them to my mom because he knew it would brighten up her day. He always seems to be doing things without wanting anything in return. It's like he's a serial nice guy."

These revelations appear to have drastically changed the popular perception of Capone as a homicidal maniac, a persona he has spent many decades cultivating. Capone has risen within the criminal world thanks in part to a unique charisma and an uncanny ruthlessness. His position as a criminal mastermind is now in jeopardy.

Brooklyn gunrunner Johnny Dice explained, "Capone is really a swell fella. I was in the hospital with appendicitis and he sent me a lovely get well card. It really lifted my spirits. Capone is really a caring guy as long as you're not a filthy mick."

Gambler "Snake Eyes" Tortelli of the Lower East Side is a close associate of Capone's. "One day, he just got done scooping the brains out of some dirty Irishman. We were dumping the body and he stopped for a few minutes to ask about my eldest daughter's schoolwork. What subject she enjoys most, her grades, that kind of stuff. He's just a nice man. As long as you're not a dirty Irishman, he'll really go out of his way to make you feel special."

Capone has been uncharacteristically silent since the accusations of his kindness first surfaced. In an interview with NPR, Capone could be seen shaking his head no when a reporter asked him about his alleged kind deeds.

His legal representation, Marty Singer, released a statement on Tuesday, "The recent stories about my client are false. They have been made by people clamoring for the spotlight. Everyone knows Al Capone is a killer and a terrible inhuman beast. He has committed many vicious crimes and really should be put away for a long time. If all of these allegations were true, why are they coming out now all at once? It doesn't add up."

But all of the attention has decidedly swung public opinion firmly into Al Capone's corner. Sixteen year old Chloe Smith remarked, "OMG, I kinda wish he was my dad. He seems so, like, nice."

Capone has a long way to go to regain his past reputation, if he can at all. Only time will tell.

Monday, December 29, 2014

NFL's New Format Final Standings

If the NFL moved back to two divisions per conference, we would get fairer and more exciting playoff games.

NFC South and East
1) Dallas 12-4
2) Philadelphia 10-6
3) Carolina 7-8-1
4) New Orleans 7-9
5) NY Giants 6-10
6) Atlanta 6-10
7) Washington 4-12
8) Tampa Bay 2-14

NFC North and West
1) Seattle 12-4
2) Green Bay 12-4
3) Arizona 11-5
4) Detroit 11-5
5) San Francisco 8-8
6) Minnesota 7-9
7) St. Louis 6-10
8) Chicago 5-11

The playoff seeding would look like this:
1) Sea; 2) Dal; 3) GB; 4) Ari; 5) Det; 6) Phi.

The Wildcard round would look like this:
6) Phi 10-6 vs. 3) GB 12-4; 4) Ari 11-5 vs. 5) Det 11-5.
instead of:
6) Det 11-5 vs. 3) Dal 12-4; 4) Car 7-8-1 vs. Ari 11-5.

AFC North and East
1) New England 12-4
2) Pittsburgh 11-5
3) Cincinnati 10-5-1
4) Baltimore 10-6
5) Buffalo 9-7
6) Miami 8-8
7) Cleveland 7-9
8) NY Jets 4-12

AFC South and West
1) Denver 12-4
2) Indianapolis 11-5
3) Houston 9-7
4) Kansas City 9-7
5) San Diego 9-7
6) Jacksonville 3-13
7) Oakland 3-13
8) Tennessee 2-14
Playoff seedings and matchup would be the same.

Tuesday, December 23, 2014

Fixing the Unfair NFL Playoff System

The NFC is extremely unfair. In the NFL combined their existing division to form two eight-team divisions, things would be far more fair. The NFC East and South would link and so would the AFC East and North.

Here are the updated standings: actual and new. If the playoffs began today, the AFC playoffs would look like this:
Byes: 1) NE 12-3; 2) Den 11-4.
Home playoff games: 3) Cin 10-4-1; 4) Indy 10-5.
Road playoff games: 5) Pit 10-5; 6) SD 9-6.

AFC playoffs in the new format:
Byes: 1) NE 12-3; 2) Den 11-4.
Home playoff games: 3) Cin 10-4-1; 4) Pit 10-5.
Road playoff games: 5) Ind 10-5; 6) SD 9-6.

The current format takes away a lot of potential drama. Indy is going to have a home playoff game and has very little to play for. In the new format, Indy/Den would go to a deep tie-breaker if Denver loses and Indy wins. Indy could finish as high as 2nd or as low as 6th in the new format.


If the playoffs began today, the NFC playoffs would look like this:
Byes: 1) Sea 11-4; 2) Det 11-4.
Home playoff games: 3) Dal 11-4; 4) Car 6-8-1.
Road playoff games: 5) GB 11-4; 6) Ari 11-4.

NFC playoffs in the new format:
Byes: 1) Sea 11-4; 2) Dal 11-4.
Home playoff games: 3) Det 11-4; 4) GB 11-4.
Road playoff games: 5) Ari 11-4; 6) Phi 9-6.

All six teams would have clinched had the NFL gone to the new format. Dallas would have clinched the South/East division. The North/West division would just about be the most exciting finish in NFL history. Seattle, Detroit, Green Bay, and Arizona would all have a shot at the bye. Only one would be on the road in the Wild Card round. Instead, the winner of Carolina and Atlanta, who will finish under .500, will earn a home playoff game. The best case scenario is that the NFC South winner will be 3.5 games worse than their visiting playoff opponent. It's possible that Atlanta could be 5 games worse than their playoff opponent!

Monday, December 22, 2014

Another Obnoxious Pound-for-Pound List

Here is the updated version of my obnoxiously unnecessary and utterly superfluous list of the top 10 pound-for-pound boxers. The previous list was posted on June 20.

1) Floyd Mayweather (47-0, 26 KOs), [Previous Rank: 1]
2) Wladimir Klitschko (63-3, 53 KOs), [PR: 2]
3) Guillermo Rigondeaux (14-0, 9 KOs), [PR: 4]
4) Manny Pacquiao (57-5-2, 38 KOs), [PR: 5]
5) Juan Manuel Marquez (56-7-1, 40 KOs), [PR: 6]
6) Adonis Stevenson (25-1, 21 KOs), [PR: 8]
7) Sergey Kovalev (26-0-1, 23 KOs), [PR: NR]
8) Roman Gonzalez (41-0, 35 KOs), [PR: NR]
9) Miguel Cotto (39-4, 32 KOs), [PR: 9]
10) Gennady Golovkin (31-0, 29 KOs), [PR: NR]

Exiting the list:
Andre Ward (27-0, 14 KOs), [PR: 3]
Danny Garcia (28-0, 16 KOs), [PR: 7]
Timothy Bradley (31-1-1, 12 KOs), [PR: 10]

Thursday, December 18, 2014

Updated NFL Standings, Current and Proposed

Continuing the weekly update of what the playoff picture should be. In short, in the NFC, the East and South would form a division and the West and North would form the other. In the AFC, the East and North would be one division and the West and South would be the other.

Here are the updated standings: actual and new. If the playoffs began today, the AFC playoffs would look like this:
Byes: 1) NE 11-3; 2) Den 11-3.
Home playoff games: 3) Ind 10-4; 4) Cin 9-4-1.
Road playoff games: 5) Pit 9-5; 6) Bal 9-5.

AFC playoffs in the new format:
Byes: 1) NE 11-3; 2) Den 11-3.
Home playoff games: 3) Ind 10-4; 4) Cin 9-4-1.
Road playoff games: 5) Pit 9-5; 6) Bal 9-5.

The AFC playoffs are fair all around as of now. One thing we miss out with the current format is division races. In the North/East, Cincy would be a game back of New England. In the South/West, Denver would be only a game up on Indy- instead, both have clinched their division titles.


If the playoffs began today, the NFC playoffs would look like this:
Byes: 1) Ari 11-3; 2) Det 10-4.
Home playoff games: 3) Dal 10-4; 4) NO 6-8.
Road playoff games: 5) Sea 10-4; 6) GB 10-4.

NFC playoffs in the new format:
Byes: 1) Ari 11-3; 2) Dal 10-4.
Home playoff games: 3) Det 10-4; 4) Sea 10-4.
Road playoff games: 5) GB 10-4; 6) Phi 9-5.

In the NFC, there are clearly 6 top teams. They won't all get in under the current format. In the new format, they all would make it in.

It would be exciting to see where all 6 teams wind up. They could all finish with road games in the Wild Card round or byes. Unfortunately, we've been stripped of that possibility. Instead, one of the six will be unfairly excluded and an inferior team from the NFC South will make it in.

Tuesday, December 09, 2014

The New NFL Division Format Update

Continuing the weekly update of what the playoff picture should be. In short, in the NFC, the East and South would form a division and the West and North would form the other. In the AFC, the East and North would be one division and the West and South would be the other.

Here are the updated standings: actual and new. If the playoffs began today, the AFC playoffs would look like this:
Byes: 1) NE 10-3; 2) Den 10-3.
Home playoff games: 3) Ind 9-4; 4) Cin 8-4-1.
Road playoff games: 5) Pit 8-5; 6) SD 8-5.

AFC playoffs in the new format:
Byes: 1) NE 10-3; 2) Den 10-3.
Home playoff games: 3) Ind 9-4; 4) Cin 8-4-1.
Road playoff games: 5) Pit 8-5; 6) SD 8-5.

Things are as they should be in the AFC at the moment. The big difference between the current system and the new system is with the new division alignment, there would be a lot more up in the air, which makes for more drama. Currently, only one of the four division races in the AFC is closer than two games. In the new alignment, Cincy would be a game and a half back of New England for the North/East lead. In the South/West, Denver would be up only one game on Indy.


If the playoffs began today, the NFC playoffs would look like this:
Byes: 1) Ari 10-3; 2) GB 10-3.
Home playoff games: 3) Phi 9-4; 4) Atl 5-8.
Road playoff games: 5) Sea 9-4; 6) Det 9-4.

NFC playoffs in the new format:
Byes: 1) Ari 10-3; 2) Phi 9-4.
Home playoff games: 3) GB 10-3; 4) Sea 9-4.
Road playoff games: 5) Det 9-4; 6) Dal 9-4.

In the NFC, there are clearly 6 best teams. They won't all get in under the current format. In the new format, they all would make it in.

There is one way the new format is less than fair than the current one (and many ways that it's far more fair). Green Bay and Arizona would both be in the same division, so only one would get a bye. Philly would be up in the South/East, so Philly would currently be in line for the other bye. That isn't fair, because Green Bay currently has a better record than Philly, but it's a hell of a lot more fair than Atlanta getting in and one of the 9-4 teams not making it.

Friday, December 05, 2014

Justice and Humanity

I’m angry about the way our society values the lives of black men. It’s not only an issue of police brutality and racial profiling. Our culture portrays black men as a threat and that perception seeps into our subconscious. I know it does for me.

All Americans, but especially we as white people need to recognize our own unintentional prejudices. We can’t keep on resting on our personal relationships with black people to absolve us our responsibility to confront our own prejudices. The question should not be: how do we treat our black friends or family, but how do we view the black stranger on the street?

If we view the black stranger with anything less than the full humanity in which we view others, then we must acknowledge that fact and vow to change. I acknowledge it and I vow to change. Our disregard for black men’s lives is a societal issue, but we must do better as individuals. Amadou Diallo, Trayvon Martin, Michael Brown, Eric Garner and many others are gone, but the lives of countless other black men depend upon our self-analysis.

Thursday, December 04, 2014

NFL Realignment Update

Continuing the weekly update of what the playoff picture should be. In short, in the NFC, the East and South would form a division and the West and North would form the other. In the AFC, the East and North would be one division and the West and South would be the other.

Here are the updated standings: actual and new. If the playoffs began today, the AFC playoffs would look like this:
Byes: 1) NE 9-3; 2) Den 9-3.
Home playoff games: 3) Cin 8-3-1; 4) Ind 8-4.
Road playoff games: 5) SD 8-4; 6) Mia 7-5.

AFC playoffs in the new format:
Byes: 1) NE 9-3; 2) Den 9-3.
Home playoff games: 3) Cin 8-3-1; 4) Ind 8-4.
Road playoff games: 5) SD 8-4; 6) Mia 7-5.

Things are pretty fair in the AFC at the moment. The one big difference the new format would improve is the Colts would be in the thick of the playoff chase. They would be ahead of San Diego using the 5th tie-breaker and would be only a game ahead of the six teams tied at 7-5. As it stands in the current format, they're two games ahead of Houston for the South division lead.

The race for the division titles would also be more interesting. New England would be a half game ahead of Cincy. Denver would be a game up on Indy and San Diego. Division winners would get a bye.


If the playoffs began today, the NFC playoffs would look like this:
Byes: 1) Ari 9-3; 2) GB 9-3.
Home playoff games: 3) Phi 9-3; 4) Atl 5-7.
Road playoff games: 5) Sea 8-4; 6) Det 8-4.

NFC playoffs in the new format:
Byes: 1) Ari 9-3; 2) Phi 9-3.
Home playoff games: 3) GB 9-3; 4) Sea 8-4.
Road playoff games: 5) Det 8-4; 6) Dal 8-4.

The NFC in 2014 is the reason why the NFL should change. It's pretty simple; Atlanta is 5-7 and doesn't deserve to make the playoffs. They'd be in a 5-way tie for 8th in the new alignment, 3 games out of playoff position. Instead, one team is going to get screwed royally. Right now, Dallas loses a three-way tie for the 5th and 6th spots in the current NFL format. San Fran is 7-5 and could also be the screwed team. In the new format, all of the 8-4 teams are in with San Fran a game out, as it should be.

The NFC North and West division in the new format would be quite exciting. Arizona and Green Bay would be tied at 9-3 for first with Seattle and Detroit just a game back. Arizona and Seattle would play each other twice and so would Green Bay and Detroit. Arizona and Seattle would each play Detroit and Green Bay once in the new alignment. Think about all of the high-level football to decide a division!